Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Sometimes the world can be a confusing place. Sometimes it seems like we’re all fumbling around, with no idea what we’re doing here, where we’re going, or where we’ll end up when it’s all over. The next few weeks are going to be one of those times -- it will seem that your brightest guiding light has left you in the dark, alone and afraid. That’s right – the Creative Horoscope is going on hiatus until September 4th, to unlock the secrets of a prophetic lawn ornament. Small flashes of brilliance may show up from time to time, but for the most part, the crystal ball will remain dark. If, however, you are in great need, you may send a prediction request and I will try to respond.

Your Lucky Symptom of Stress: Canker Sores
Your Lucky Stress Reliever: 89.7 WCPE – The Classical Station



Your Creative Horoscope is a registered trademark of Jenny Nicholson is super awesome, LLC and is for entertainment purposes only. It’s pretty hot out today, which means it might be a good idea to skip exercising and sit on the couch, eating Doritos and watching Family Guy instead. Any actual predictions of the future are accidental and not a reflection of the psychic powers of Jenny Nicholson is super awesome, LLC, unless said prediction involves Jenny is super awesome, LLC walking up the steps of the Pyramid of the Sun and, while stopping to rest, accidentally leaning against a stone that causes a trap door to swing open, thus sending her on an escapade much like the ones she used to follow in that fascinating literature series, Choose Your Own Adventure.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Temperatures today are predicted to rise from somewhat miserable to completely unbearable. For a handy way to beat the heat, try thinking up concepts that involve being a little chilly. Two guys ice fishing. Somebody locked in a meat freezer. Polar bears drinking cola, perhaps? You’ll be cooler in no time. (Okay, I totally lie. You’ll still be hot, but you’ll be hot with a bunch of lame ideas involving cold environments.)

Your Lucky Drag Queen: Hedwig
Your Lucky Cookout Accessory: Corn Cob Stabbers


Your Creative Horoscope is a registered trademark of Jenny Nicholson is super awesome, LLC and is for entertainment purposes only. It’s pretty hot out today, which means it might be a good idea to skip exercising and sit on the couch, eating Doritos and watching Family Guy instead. Any actual predictions of the future are accidental and not a reflection of the psychic powers of Jenny Nicholson is super awesome, LLC, unless said prediction involves a big-time casting director discovering Jenny is super awesome, LLC waiting in line for a Cinnabon and making her the next Meryl Streep.